Well. I can't find my physical journal to write in, but seeing how almost no one reads this...I don't think it will be much different to write here.
I need to vent.
I feel like my world has been shaken from underneath me lately. EVERYTHING has changed. My major is now photojournalism instead of art. The friends I hung out with this semester have now started deleting me from facebook, due to our lack of friendship. I was supposed to be moving with the family to Pennsylvania after this summer, but even that didn't work out. I'm moving out of my apartment and back into my parents house. All my friends back in town from college don't contact me...probably because I'm not that great of a friend.
If I believed in depression...I would say sign me up for a lifetime supply of happy pills.
Basically...a large sum of why everything in my life kind of sucks is because I spent this entire semester getting fucked up and smoking weed. It was not okay. I won't even try to defend my actions. Anyway, my parents found out about these troubles and have deemed me unworthy of living by myself. I was also told to distance myself from the friends who introduced me to these things...which I accomplished, willingly, due to their new hobby of being unbearably annoying. All my friends that were with me before I became a drunk stoner, don't hang out with me anymore because I've spent an entire semester living the lifestyle that I always bashed to them. The Pennsylvania failure was actually completely devastating. I was so ready to get out of my element and start a new. Of course, as soon as I was emotionally and even academically ready to go, my dad dropped the bomb that we would be staying in Texas. I think I was mostly okay with moving northward because then it would be "okay" to move back in with my parents. Not to mention, I would be super duper close to New York City. So close that I could do summer internships in the big apple if I chose.
Yeh. I think that covers everything I needed to write down.
Last night was another magical TOUPS and OTIS photoshoot! I have to say, I am quite proud of these photos. Toups will tell you that she "is the talent" but being the awesome friend that I am, I am willing to share the talent and say we are both pretty cool right now.
I hear everyone getting annoyed with me. I see everyone escaping. I'm sick of being the kid who pours out his emotions on his blog at the end of the day. Especially when it's always negative. I'm sick of listening to me as much as everyone else. Apologies.
Everyone's going places. I don't mean physically, even though in most cases that holds true. I mean they are getting the shit done that they want to do. They are working hard to go to the schools that they want to transfer to. They are working hard to achieve the dreams that they dream. My dream and my place is New York. I know I'll make it there one day. But it's at least two years away. I don't know if that's why I'm upset. It might just be that no one is working hard to get to me. They are working hard at leaving me. Everyone.
I am an aspiring photographer. I go to the University of North Texas and I am a photojournalism major with a minor in anthropology. One day, I would like to be a photographer on staff of a fashion magazine. Or even just working in the art department of a magazine.